Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
