the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
