My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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