yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
