I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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