i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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