so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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