Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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