No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
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