I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
