My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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