i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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