I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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