smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
