His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
