dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
