Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Your cock deserves a montage
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
