And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
