his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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