its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
