I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
