So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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