Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
