Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
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