But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
