im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
Randomize
