Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
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