i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
