toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
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