mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
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