Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
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