doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
