i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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