That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
Randomize
