His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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