I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
