Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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