FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
