Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My hand turned me down
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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