don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
