I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
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