Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
