apparently the secret to your success is patron
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
