Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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