i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize