I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
