so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
