My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Randomize
