soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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