babies were throwing up all over the place
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
