Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
