tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
Randomize
