JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
