We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
In America we eat man semen.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
sex in a hospital.. check
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I would ride that face into the sunset
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
