i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
