sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
