I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
