I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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