i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
