What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
