...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Alive.
So much puke
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
