You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
