Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
