she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Randomize
