All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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