I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
