i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
