oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
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