scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize