I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Randomize
