all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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