Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I have already put on my inside pants.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
